Mindful Roots

The Dilemma We are All Talking About

Half my followers say kids are a blessing. The other half says freedom matters more. That split is not just online—it is the same conversation I hear over coffee with friends. To my surprise, the poll landed almost exactly in the middle. And yet, when I scroll, it feels like DINK is being crowned the “new cool.”

But is it really that simple? For me, this is not about pursuing tradition blindly, nor about buying into a hashtag trend. It is about asking—are we choosing from self-awareness, or just from influence?

The Hashtag of “Freedom”

So here is the question I have been sitting with: Is DINK truly freedom? Or is it just another hashtag lifestyle we have glorified online?

I am not saying couples should have kids because society expects it. That is never a good enough reason. This choice—emotional, financial, deeply personal—belongs only to you.

But to call parenthood the end of freedom feels unfair. Isn’t it biased to bind children to just one aspect of life—responsibility—while ignoring the joy, growth, and love they bring? Would you have wanted your parents to think of you only as a burden?

Choosing not to have kids because you know your goals, values, or readiness is one thing. But choosing it only because it feels like the easier way out—that is a short-sighted view. After all, does a child-free life guarantee that your story will always stay exciting?

What the Narratives Do not Tell You

Every choice comes with both sides. DINK couples enjoy travel, flexibility, and fewer financial obligations. Parents experience sleepless nights, financial stress, and the constant negotiation between self and family. Both are true.

But here is what the narratives often miss: freedom without kids does not mean freedom from life’s hardships. Stress, aging, health issues, loneliness—these do not disappear when you skip parenthood. On the flip side, kids do not just “tie you down.” They anchor you, yes. They also expand your capacity for love and resilience in ways no solo pursuit can.

And in India, there is another layer: women without children are often quietly—or not so quietly—considered “incomplete.” Family gatherings bring the inevitable questions. Traditions exclude them. Society treats her identity as if it is missing a piece.

But here is the truth: a woman is not defined by her womb. Parenthood is one chapter of life, not the only measure of a fulfilled one. To reduce women to motherhood alone is not only unfair, it is insulting to the fullness of who they are.

At the same time, dismissing parenthood as a burden strips it of its beauty. Both extremes miss the point. What is needed is a choice made with dignity—without stigma on either side.

The Everyday Proofs We Forget

Neither list is absolute. Both come with trade-offs. That is the point. The question is not which list looks better on paper. It is about which trade-offs you are willing to embrace with love.

And sometimes, the beauty of that choice shines in the smallest, most unexpected moments. My nephew, for instance, is my sister-in-law’s little boy. Spending time with him opened my eyes to why so many parents call children a blessing.

At lunchtime, he insisted I tell him stories. What amazed me was not just his attention span. It was the way his intelligent curiosity kept stretching me. He was testing the limits of my storytelling. In those giggles and questions, I saw how children push us to grow in ways we do not plan for.

On another day, while shopping with his mom and me, he suddenly asked if I wanted to buy some jewellery. He wanted it to be a gift from him. No one in the world had asked me that before. The innocence and generosity behind that question were more priceless than any ornament.

And then there is the simple, everyday attachment—his way of hugging, of looking at us with unfiltered love. It makes the world feel a lot better, full of hope.

These are not grand gestures. They are not “Instagrammable milestones.” They are everyday proofs of how children add meaning that freedom alone can’t replicate.

The Commitment That Matters

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being a DINK or being a parent. It is about being honest with yourself, and then building a life you can stand by with ownership and love.

If there is one thought I will leave you with, it is this. Children are not just responsibilities. They are also mirrors. They reflect the love, patience, and growth we did not even know we had within us. That is a meaning no other “freedom” can replace.

So yes, do not do it for the world. Do not do it for pressure. But if you choose it, choose it with love and it just might become the most liberating decision of all.

Love,

Bhavyata